Children of recovery, breaking the cycle
Let Me Learn
In September of 2019, when Izzy arrived at Union Gospel Mission with her mother, Katie, and infant sister, Aniya, the young teen felt a huge weight finally lift. “Do I finally get some peace?” wondered Izzy, now a 16-year-old high school sophomore. “A month before we came here, my dad’s drinking had definitely gotten worse,” explains Izzy. “I was trying to handle doing school on top of babysitting everybody…especially my little sister and my dad on days he couldn’t go to work because he was too sick from drinking. I didn’t have any hope for myself. I remember thinking, I’m only 13. There’s really nothing I can do.”
Izzy’s mom, Katie also dealt with issues of substance abuse. “Prior to arriving, it had grown really hard for Izzy to engage and let people in. She had trust issues and wouldn’t show her emotions. That was hard because she’d always been my bubbly girl and was very outgoing,” explains Katie.
Sadly, experiencing significant childhood trauma is common. According to a recent study, more than two-thirds of children in the U.S. report having experienced at least one traumatic event by age 16 (jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/482289). To break dysfunctional cycles of addiction, abuse, and violence, it’s important to address the emotional challenges trauma inflicts upon children. “At LifeChange, we work hard to provide children and youth with all the tools and support they need to process their emotions, which is necessary in order to succeed in moving forward,” says LifeChange Director Johnni Olson. “In addition to their physical needs, both moms and children alike receive individual counseling, as well as group and family counseling.”
“I’ve definitely learned what to look out for…like any red flags, be it any relationship,” says Izzy, who dreams of one day becoming a criminal psychologist and is currently looking into college scholarships. For now, Izzy is most grateful for the chance to be a 'regular’ teen. “I’m actually myself,” says Izzy, her face lighting up as she describes her favorite classes – psychology and math – and talks about popular TikTok and YouTube videos. “I’m not anybody’s mother and I’m not a complete child. I’m getting responsibility that’s properly fitted to me. All these good things are happening. We have a car. My mom is doing okay. She has a job. I have a job. We have this really awesome church. They’re, like, so amazing.”
“This is a place with safe people”
“God is really, really present in this building,” adds Katie, who is now gainfully employed as a dietary aid at a nearby assisted living facility and is planning to take higher education classes. “The moment we arrived, it felt like we’d come home. Izzy is really trusting me again. We can talk about anything. I’m so proud of her and how far she’s come. She’s an assistant Sunday School teacher, she’s very much involved in the youth group at our church, and she’s doing really well in school.”
“We’ve learned healthy coping mechanisms here,” Izzy explains. “This is a place with safe people. It’s very comforting knowing that when I’m going through something, there’s always someone besides my mom I can talk to and get advice. That’s comforting. It’s hard and sometimes really painful; but going through it, you learn so much about yourself and others. Running away, you’re just going to end up in the same place over and over again. In trying, you are literally learning from your mistakes.”
LifeChange for Women and Their Children provides a safe healing home where youth like Izzy can heal and grow alongside their moms in recovery. To learn more visit www.ugmportland.org/help-for-women
-Story by Laura Lee Scott UGM Volunteer